Click here for a PDF of the original article.

(from Backpacker Magazine, June 2010, page 52)

Beat Pack Strain

Hauling a heavy load can do a number on the neck, back, and hips. Stay pain-free with these tips.

By Ron S. Doyle

PROBLEM Neck pain Leaning forward against a pack‘s shoulder straps pulls your head into an abnormal forward posture (aka turtle necking), which can cause neck strain, headaches, and impaired balance.

>> Solution Keep your head back and lead with your chest to take pressure off the neck. Also, adjust the pack’s load-lifter straps to 45 degrees. “At lower angles, the top of the pack pulls backward,” says Jason Klimpke, a pack-fitting expert at REI’s Denver, Colorado store.

PROBLEM Tingling fingers A 2007 University of California, San Diego study found that packs weighing as little as 26 pounds can significantly reduce blood flow to your arms, which can be painful, impair fine motor skills, and increase fatigue, and chill hands in the winter.

>> Solution Adjust the pack’s fit to place more weight on your hips. Also, raise your sternum strap just above armpit height, and tighten it to pull the shoulder straps inward, relieving pressure on the shoulder’s axillary vein, says Klimpke. As you hike, pull the straps away from your shoulders with your thumbs for as long as necessary.

PROBLEM Lower back and hip pain Loads weighing just 10 percent of your body weight can compress your lumbar spinal discs, according to a 2008 study in which MRI scans were taken of people wearing a pack.  That two-week hike you’ve planned may only cause some muscle soreness and nerve irritation, but decades of toting an ill-fitting pack can lead to disc compression, degenerative disease, and chronic pain.

>> Solution Make sure your hipbelt sits right on your iliac crest (the top of your hip bones). The pack’s stays (the vertical bars of the internal frame) should curve with your spine without pressing into your sacrum, and the lumbar pad should rest gently against your lower back. A professional stay-bending, which many stores will do for free, can adjust for this. Pre- and posthike stretching also helps: Stand with your feet hip-width apart and fold forward, keeping your torso straight. Rest your palms on the ground beside your feet. Bend your knees if you feel any discomfort of hamstring pain.

Click here for a PDF of the original article, which ran as a supplement to my feature story, “What is he thinking?!”

Getting Intimate with Sex and the City 2’s Max Ryan

English-born Max Ryan plays Rikard, a hunky European architect who crosses paths with Samantha Jones in the upcoming Sex & The City 2, in theaters this May. The role is a major departure from Ryan’s previous roles in action films such as Kiss of the Dragon, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and Death Race. We caught up with Ryan (who you can learn more about at www.maxryan.eu or follow on Twitter at www.twitter.com/MrMaxRyan) for his thoughts on family, career, and relationships.

On his first crush. “Her name was Lisa and I was probably about eight years old. She had long brown hair. We kind of became boyfriend and girlfriend, but at that age, what is it? It was my first love and it was fantastic, you know, cute and innocent and we never really knew what was going on between the pair of us.”

On being cast in Sex and the City 2. I wanted to do something different, like a romantic comedy, instead of being killed or playing these really heavy, nasty characters. That’s not really me—I’m really an uplifting, smiley person. So when my manager came to me with Sex and the City 2, I just said, ‘Okay!’ The rest is history.”

On his family’s reaction to the news. “My mother was absolutely freaking out, loving it. When we were shooting the movie, I brought my parents over to visit. When the customs officer asked “Why are you here in the United States?” my mother said proudly, “Well, our son is in Sex and the City,” and the customs officer started telling everyone. Soon the entire American customs area was cheering for them—it was just incredible.”

On working with the SATC2 cast and creating his character, Rikard. “The ladies have been doing this for years, they have their characters down, and there’s a lot of force there to be reckoned with, so it was a challenge. It certainly wasn’t easy. But when I read the lines written by Mr. King (director Michael Patrick King), my personality really came through. I think it all came together to create something unique.”

On Sex and the City’s portrayal of relationships between men and women. “Since I’ve been watching Sex and the City, it’s actually made me more intuitive about the opposite sex. It’s helped me personally in my own life and if you want to get deep about it, I think it‘s saved a lot of relationships. I believe all men should watch and learn how a woman ticks. It’s really true to life.”

How he describes his Complete Woman. “Best friend, great lover, great mother, loves animals, and a lot of patience. A lot of patience. [laughs] I’m like any man, I adore women. I think behind every good man there’s a very, very strong woman. A man needs a woman to help him keep on track, help him through the good, bad and the ugly. I think I’ve had that and I blew it. You know, I’m 43 and I’ve missed a few opportunities. If I’d watched Sex and the City sooner I think I’d be married by now.”

How women he’s dated would describe him. “It depends on what era of my life. [laughs] I would say motivated, focused, but I may have some kind of attention disorder when focusing my energies on a relationship. I think most of the women I’ve dated left me because I’ve been careless to some degree. When you’re an actor, and building your career, there are a lot of sacrifices you have to make. But I think it’s going to be really interesting to see what happens next in my personal life.”

Click here for a PDF of the original article, including an interview with Sex & The City 2′s Max Ryan.

What is he (really) thinking?!

Women have long gotten a bad rap as being difficult to decipher, but, if you ask us, men can be just as baffling! Luckily for you, we present a view from a true-blue guy into the male mind at 10 crucial relationship stages.

By Ron S. Doyle

By all indications of what I saw in the shower this morning, I am definitely a man. I should know how men think. Apparently, however, I’m a different sort of man, because I’ve recently been called a traitor for revealing male secrets to women (thanks for publishing that past article, Complete Woman). And because, to tell the truth, I just learned I don’t have a clue what other men were thinking.

Here’s what I assumed: there are two major types of men, those who think too much and those who think too little. The thinkers consist of those paralyzed by anxiety and those who always have a plan; in other words, they are the control freaks who run our world. The non-thinkers, in contrast, jump into life headfirst and depend on a testosterone-infused cocktail of courage and charisma to get through it; they are my buddies from college on a bender.

After spending several weeks interviewing men, however, I discovered it’s far more complicated when relationships enter the equation. You wind up with this freaky form of Cognitive Calculus where anything can happen—the non-thinkers start overanalyzing before doing something impulsive and the thinkers leaving rambling voicemails at 3 a.m.

The point? Men think more than I thought—and I was therefore totally stumped.

I was ready to throw in the towel when my friend Frank, a graphic illustrator, shared his own theory on the matter. Frank claims what men think about relationships (or don’t) depends entirely on what they want from the women involved. Frank even defined three categories of women for me: “Permanent Pursuits,” “Friends with Benefits,” and “Hot and Wild,” which sounded more to me like a barbecue sauce than a female archetype.

Believe it or not, Frank is onto something. Tufts University psychologist R.J. Sternberg says all love relationships are built from three basic components that line up perfectly with Frank‘s categories: commitment, intimacy, and passion. Different combinations of these three components create different kinds of relationships—and for men, each relationship results in a different way of thinking.

So, without further ado, here’s a look into the minds of men at ten different relationship stages. See if you can figure out which men are seeking commitment and which only want passion! Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, embarrassed, and deserving of pity.

1. He reaches out for the first time. Here’s the first time when men really start thinking about those three categories—commitment, intimacy, passion—and how you might fit into them. A few men claimed to have no expectations; their first contact was purely platonic. But Lorne, 45, says men think about two things, sometimes both simultaneously, when they first reach out to a woman: “the prospects of a mutually supportive, interesting, exciting, supportive relationship” and, alternately, “getting laid.”
2. You kiss for the first time. Maybe reruns of Sleeping Beauty on The Disney Channel are having an effect on men; many hold surprisingly romantic notions about the first kiss. And some men consider the first kiss as a final grade on the evening, while still others treat it like a final exam. In other words, there’s a lot of pressure to make the first kiss a good one. The Experience Project, an online community where folks share their life experiences anonymously, is filled with stories of men regretting the outcome of their first kisses. With so much pressure placed on such a small moment, it’s no surprise so many men said they think a little liquid courage (read: a margarita or three) helps them stop constantly wondering and worrying if they have spinach in their teeth.
3. You have sex for the first time. Perhaps all those jokes about “diverted blood flow” are more accurate than we realize, since not one man could not give me a straight answer on what they’re thinking when they first hop in the sack. As best as I could gather, it’s a scrambled hodgepodge of excitement and terror, a desire to have orgasms and successfully give them, and the whole mess is smothered with their own personal kinks. Complicating matters more, some men intentionally try to think about anything but sex (work, cars, golf, you name it), using mental distraction as way to improve sexual stamina. The end result? A man’s inner monologue during your first sexual encounter with them might sound like someone with Tourette Syndrome winning the lottery—or a golf announcer being tickled by strippers.
4. You cry in front of him. Female tears put male senses on red alert—their brains start screaming, “She’s sprung a leak, Captain! Quickly, do something before we all drown!” Sometimes, however, men think your tears are fake, and those warning signals become about you, not what made you cry. Gary, a 24 year old from Luton, England, says “Even if her tears are not genuine, comforting her is the right thing to do, because she may be trying to see how much I actually care.” Karl, a 27-year-old stock broker from New York had a less compassionate outlook: “I view this as major weakness and an attempt to manipulate me. I hate it and if it’s really early [in the relationship] I lose all true interest and will not take her seriously.”
5. He doesn’t call. Lorne confessed that when a man says “I was too busy to call,” it’s probably code for “I’m not that interested.” Other men gave me so many excuses (some legitimate, some questionable) that I felt like a school teacher asking for last night’s homework. I was holding my breath, waiting to hear someone say “It’s not my fault! My dog ate her phone number!” A surprising number of men, however, revealed that they’re not calling on purpose, as a test. Karl says “I will not call to observe a girl’s behavior. Will she call me? Will she go nuts and call 50 times? I give it a few days or so before I respond. It shows me if she’s needy and unstable.”
6. He meets your parents and friends. Often men are thrown off-guard from being paraded around, thinking they must defend themselves from judgment (“I am not a creature in a zoo!” says Gary). But more often they’re asking themselves questions like, “Could I be friends with these people?“ and sometimes, according to a few brutally honest men, “Could I sleep with any of her friends?”  Most often of all? They’re judging too, sizing up your father in the event of a nasty breakup, and then checking out your mother, wondering if you (and your waistline) will someday look just like her.
7. You discuss the future. While there was certainly a group of boys who didn’t seem prepared to talk engagement, marriage and children with a woman, most men I interviewed seemed comfortable with thinking about the future. “If we’re talking about the future, I’m in it with you,” said Lorne. Almost every man who wanted to talk about the future, however, naively pictured marriage and family as enhancements to their current life, instead of a replacement for it. As a married man with two daughters, I kept my mouth shut about the truth; you can thank me later.
8. You have your first fight. When that first major disagreement arises, my friend Frank says a committed man’s mind takes a short journey, starting out at “What is wrong with her?” making a quick pit stop at “I have to fix this,“ and finally arriving at “I’ll just say I was wrong.” Derrick, 39, from Columbus, Georgia, says of his first fight, “She had her first fight. I just listened and kept the conversation moving.”  And Lorne wondered, “How soon until we have make-up sex?”
9. 9. He cheats on you. When men talk about their past affairs, there’s a tendency to deny any thought involved (“I wasn’t thinking”) or to diminish its importance (“It was just sex”). But remember what I said about men’s thoughts when they have sex for the first time? The cheating mind is no different. Their thought processes are on overdrive, first reveling in their naughty behavior, then planning alibis, and for many, finally psychologically flogging themselves with guilt. Frank says, “Regardless of how it happens, eventually you come to one big, understated word resonating through your head—Oops.”

10.  You move in together. Brad Berkowitz, author of The 21^st Century Guide to Bachelorhood (iUniverse, $12.95), offered me a comprehensive list of all the negative thoughts filling the minds of many men: “Moving in together will be a big adjustment. I will have less personal space. I will have less closet space. I will see my friends less often. I will have less free time. She will talk too much. She will continuously ask me questions when I want to watch football. She will take 80% of the bathroom space. She will not understand the ways guys think.”

In the end, despite all their fears, occasionally misguided ideas, and sex-scrambled attitudes, and despite the overwhelming evidence that men think differently that women, men remained optimistic, and the overwhelming majority reported that they truly wanted the same things as women—a secure relationship, an intimate connection, and long-lasting passion. Which makes me wonder—if we all want the same thing, does it really matter if we understand what the opposite sex thinks about it along the way? Probably not. But it’s still nice to try.

Ten Things Men Keep Quiet

He’s Keeping Secrets From Us—But Not Necessarily What We Think (Or Fear)! One Man Braves His Peers To Give Us The Lowdown.

By Ron S. Doyle

I was kicked out of the Man Club three days ago, via anonymous email, because I announced that I’m revealing secrets men keep to a popular women’s magazine. The man who wrote the email got right to the point: “You’re an effing traitor, man.” Needless to say, it’s been a rough couple of weeks for me.

While I fit some stereotypical “man” traits (I pee standing up and think monkeys are hilarious) I’m also a writer—it’s in my blood to blab. Therefore, I don’t fully understand why some men keep so quiet.
Since I possess the wrong set of genitals to be a mind reader, I turned to men I’ve known since college, prodding them over several days while we wrenched on bikes, drank homemade beer, and played shirtless volleyball in the park like a much-less-oily version of that scene from Top Gun. I‘d ask, “So, what do you keep secret from women?” They’d shrug and occasionally grunt.

I even interrogated inebriated strangers in a crowded bar during last call, hoping a dose of liquid courage would get them to share. I received plenty of threatening glances from my neighbors at the urinals, but very little information.

Finally, using the magical powers of the 21st century, I started bugging men on the internet. Stories slowly trickled in—and at the last moment, a few of my buddies gave up the goods. Frank, a 36-year-old network administrator in Fullerton, Calif. said, “When it comes to women, what you say can and will be held against you, so I reserve my right to be silent.” Most men, however, really opened up.

So, without further ado, here are ten things that men keep quiet. Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, embarrassed, and moderately cowardly.

1. When we’re feeling fat. Men avoid words like “bloated,“ but we worry as much as any woman about the width of our posterior (or the size of our chest). Dr. Douglas Steinbrech, a plastic surgeon in Manhattan, says men visit him for Botox, chin implants, and liposuction—but hide it from colleagues, wives and girlfriends. “Sometimes they hide it because of the cost, but usually they are just a little shy about it,” says Steinbrech. Men are taught that displays of insecurity or weakness, in any form, will hurt our image. The end result? We not only keep quiet when we‘ve had a manicure, but also when we have a miserable case of Montezuma’s Revenge or dislocated our shoulder ice skating on a date with you.

2.  When we’re lost. Scientific research has knocked men off their smarty-pants pedestal—intellectually speaking, men and women are undeniable equals. In the Brain Olympics, however, science still awards men the gold medal for spatial reasoning. Yes, in map reading and assembling IKEA furniture, men are slightly better. Since we’re supposed to be good at navigation (and we’re viciously proud of it), many men stay quiet when they‘re lost. My buddy Jon, a 30-year-old auditor in Denver, says men keep quiet because, “We’re never lost. We’re just learning a new route. We’re studying street signs, landmarks, and minding the cardinal direction we’re heading. Keeping all this together is a strenuous exercise—engaging in a conversation would distract from the task.”

3.  When we’re broke. Ken Solin, author of The Key to the Men’s Room: What Men Talk About When Women Aren’t Around, says men often connect their self worth to their net worth. Solin shared the story of one man who (despite being a good husband, father, and all-around nice guy), felt like a complete failure in life when he lost his job to an outsourced employee. After generations of being judged by their wealth and status, some men still feel the need to buy flashy cars, drink expensive Scotch, and hide negative balances on their bank statements.

4.  When we’re dating someone else. Truthfully, men don’t talk about current or past relationships because we don’t want to make you feel insecure. George, a marketing executive in Toronto, says, “I hate it when my wife asks me about my previous girlfriends, especially about what they were like in bed—and who was the best? That’s private between me and them, and I’m very uncomfortable talking about it. When I do say anything, she immediately becomes defensive and starts to trash-talk my previous girlfriends. The lesson? Keep my silence about previous women, and keep the peace.”

5. When we fantasize about celebs or flirt with other women. While I would have amputated my left arm for three minutes with Cindy Crawford in high school, the celebrity fantasy game played by many men doesn’t interest me. I flirt, however, with anything that moves. Why? Many men in relationships don’t consider friendly co-ed interaction as official flirting because there’s no intent (nor pressure) to convert the conversation into something more serious. Therefore, we keep quiet for two main reasons: 1) we didn’t recognize our behavior as flirting or 2) we know it hurts your feelings.

6. When we’re Googling you. Sorry ladies, not one man would admit to going online for info about a woman, unless they met the woman online. Mauricio, a real estate entrepreneur in Miami, admitted to snooping, but wouldn’t confess more. My buddy Fred (who sends emails from Europe like “Went paint balling in Slovenia today” or “The girls in the photos picked us up. Dutch women love Americans.”) says men only Google women because we’re “looking for naked pictures of you.” For men, however, Googling a woman is the Web 2.0 equivalent of looking in your medicine cabinet—or reading your diary—so believe me, it’s happening.

7. When women hurt our feelings. Boys do cry, but society tells us that it’s not okay, so many of us compensate by avoiding emotional situations altogether. When we can’t avoid being hurt, we cover our wounds quickly. Brandon, 34, says “My feelings don’t get hurt often, but when they do, it really hurts. I’d just as soon avoid that experience again. If I’m hurt and I don’t say anything, (women) can’t bring it up in the future to hurt me again. I’ve learned from that mistake.”

8. When we’re afraid you won’t commit. Some men are convinced that great women (who are actually interested in them) are a rare, endangered species. Any sudden moves and you’ll dart off into the rainforest, never to be seen again. Other times, men maintain a silent façade because they’re paralyzed by a past painful rejection. Solin told me about another man who was “unceremoniously dumped by a woman just before he asked her to marry.” The man shoved the pain deep into his psyche and swore he’d never get hurt again. Ironically, women see men in this holding pattern, and assume it’s because they don’t want to commit. Both sexes end up standing, staring, and going nowhere.

9. When we’re feeling really kinky. Men don’t think about sex every seven seconds—that’s a myth—except perhaps during a few terrifying weeks of puberty. But, when a man’s imagination does wander into the bedroom, it sometimes moves promptly back out of the bedroom, into the kitchen, inexplicably holds up a jar of mayonnaise and tells us to love you like a sandwich, whatever that means. Fred insists that the limits of his erotic imagination are “only confined by the law”—and that’s because he’s a law student—in Amsterdam. As Jon says, “I don’t share really kinky fantasies because I think she’ll think I’m weird. Not weird like vanilla flavoring in cola, but weird like she’ll get a 100-yard restraining order put on me.”

10. When we’re just not feeling it at all. A professional ballroom dancer (who asked to be called X) says “Every woman wants to feel like the royal shizzle in bed, but in reality one woman, the same one, will never complete a man’s hunger for great sex.“ While X’s sentiments may resonate with some men, many revealed that male libidos are far more complicated—we worry frequently that we can’t satisfy you, that we aren’t, ahem, “big” enough, or that you‘ll notice the cobwebs on our bedroom ceiling. The most common answer? Men keep quiet when we’re not in the mood because we know women do the same for us—believe it or not, we’re returning the favor.

So, why do we keep quiet? For the record, not all men keep quiet: my college buddy Justin, for example, is really terrible at keeping his mouth shut. His wife says she wishes he would keep quiet more often—especially regarding #1, #5, and #8.

In fact, most men told me that they keep quiet out of respect for women. Whether they’re hunting for your birthday on Facebook, daydreaming about Scarlet Johansson (or you in a tub of butterscotch pudding with Scarlet Johansson), dealing with painful memories of an ex, or measuring their manhood against Johnny Depp and Donald Trump, men shut their traps partially out of pride, but mostly to keep their relationships running smoothly.

Moreover, many women confirm that they keep quiet on these topics too, proving that we’re not so different after all. And that’s a good thing—since I’ve been kicked out of the Man Club, I’m wondering if the Woman’s Club is accepting applications.

Please click here to visit the original article at http://besthealthmag.ca.

(from Rodale’s Mountain Bike Magazine, June 2009, page 32)

BEING ADAM MARKOVIC(H)

A little more than a year ago, I stole a mountain bike. Or saved it. By Ron S. Doyle.

Every city has bike cemeteries, racks where tall grass weaves into the spokes of neglected or abandoned rides. My buddy Gabe—a teacher who refurbishes old bikes and donates them to his at-risk students—lives near one of these urban graveyards in Glendale, Colorado. When he first pedaled past it, noting the rack’s ramshackle inventory, one bike stood out: an unlocked 1994 Marin Eldridge Grade, paralyzed by flat tires and a devastated rear wheel. For a year, the bike went untouched.

I needed it. I was bike-commuting more than 100 miles each week and wanted a knobby-tired addition to my fleet. My last mountain bike, a 1995 limited-edition Gary Fisher Grateful Dead Hoo Koo E Koo, had been stolen in 2006, leaving me to navigate icy winter mornings on a cyclocross bike.

And, well, I must confess—I had wanted that Marin for ages.

I grew up in Roswell, New Mexico—known for its extraterrestrial activity but not for its singletrack. As a kid, I lurked around Roswell Schwinn, the only shop in town, pretending to be a gearhead. One Marin Eldridge Grade graced the sales floor, with its champagne-colored chromoly frame, anodized red accents, stubby bar ends, and that little Marin bear on the downtube. I loved it but couldn’t afford it.

I recognized the graveyard Marin immediately. Upon inspection, I found a registration tag from the Telluride Marshal’s Department. I called and learned the owner’s name: Adam Markovich.

I dialed the phone number the officer gave me. Disconnected. I Googled “Adam Markovich.” Nada. I paid for a person search, found an Adam Markovich in Denver, and visited his address. No one was home

I took the bike. I told myself someone would eventually take it anyway; if it was me, I rationalized, the Marin would be protected. If Adam showed up, I’d gladly return it. And sure enough: a few weeks later, the building’s landlord hauled off the entire graveyard.

Vindicated, I declared myself the bike’s guardian. Aside from replacing seized pedals and that trashed rear wheel, I kept the bike in its original condition. I even left the foam grips from 1994. I nicknamed the bike “Markovich.”

For a while, I was content. I had the bike of my boyhood dreams.

My first official ride was a giddy blur that left my face sore from smiling. But there was one problem: I’m not a boy anymore. The 17.5” frame would have fit me in 1994, but today it’s too small. Like a lover blind to a bad relationship, I ignored the problem, but after several hundred miles my throbbing lower back insisted I stop riding the bike so often. Because the bike isn’t really mine, I can’t sell it or give it away. I still ride Markovich occasionally, but now I can’t settle in the saddle without the eerie feeling I’m riding in someone else’s skin.

Over the last year, I’ve searched stolen-bike registries, phoned, e-mailed, Twittered, and blogged. My sleuthing uncovered one Adam Markovich in Arizona who e-mailed me (“Not my bike, thx”) and a Serbian church bulletin from Chicago that bore his name on a prayer list.

In March, I spoke with the Telluride Marshal’s Department again. Since the registration predated computer records, Detective John Wontrobski rechecked the original file:

“M-A-R-K-O-V-I-C,” he said.

“No ‘H’ on the end?” I asked.

“Nope, Markovic.”

I hopped online, dropped thirty bucks, and quickly found Adam T. Markovic, a man who once lived in Telluride and Denver. His latest address placed him in Kirksville, Missouri. I called 1450 KIRX, Kirksville’s AM radio station. ShaeRae Sears, a honey-throated news reporter, recorded my plea and ran a story throughout the following day.

That was three months ago, and still no reply. Maybe Markovic doesn’t want to be found. Did he abandon the bike for a reason? Did he steal it himself? Is he a Serbian refugee running from the Croatian mob?

In mountain biking, the difference between success and failure often lies in one’s ability to commit. I have far more scars from bailing than from staying upright and holding on tight. I can’t ditch this bike—or my guilt—where I found it, so the search must continue. Wish me luck—and if you know Adam, please ask him to call me.

(from Tech & Learning Magazine, May 2009, page 37)

• Reading/Writing. Display images, words or phrases for writing prompts in creative writing or poetry class. Model savvy formatting and editing skills by giving live demonstrations in your word-processing software.
• Mathematics. Utah State University’s National Library of Virtual Manipulatives http://nlvm.usu.edu/en/nav/vLibrary.html) offers hundreds of multi-sensory games, illustrations, exercises and puzzles for K-12 students.
• Science. Ask students to add their experimental data directly to your spreadsheet and project graphs of their results for everyone to see—you’ll identify those pesky outliers in no time.
• Social Studies. Google Earth (http://earth.google.com) works wonders but loves to crash on older computers. Try the University of Texas at Austin’s renowned Perry-Castañeda Library Virtual Map Room (http://www.lib.utexas.edu/maps/) for a wide array of PDF maps from around the globe.
• Timer, Stopwatch, Countdown. Using a simple freeware program like TimeLeft (http://www.timeleft.info), students will see exactly how long they’ve been working on a project, how much time is left, or how many days until the ice cream social after your final exam.
• Board Work. Ask students to do the work on a sheet of paper, fire up your doc camera, then project their results. No more stage whiteboard fright!
• Graphic Organizers. Online diagramming software like Gliffy (http://www.gliffy.com) or Bubbl (http://bubbl.us) can make creating lively instructional flowcharts, cluster diagrams and spider maps a breeze.
• Guest/Substitute Lectures. Live streaming or podcast lectures from guests will give your students access to experts around the world without footing for an airline ticket. Record your own lectures with software like Camtasia (http://www.techsmith.com/camtasia.asp; $299) or upload your Powerpoint presentations to Slideshare (http://slideshare.net; free) and you’ll be the toast of the substitute-teaching pool.

(appeared on front page and continued on page 6)

By Ron S. Doyle, Colorado Families for Hands & Voices

Madeleine is only 22 months old, but I’m terrified of my daughter becoming a teenager. I’m not worried about her deafness—I’m worried about her shopping.

As a toddler, her consumerism is already rampant; she grabs anything within reach, persuades and cajoles with sign language, and when all else fails, she sneaks items into the cart when I’m not looking. I’m used to it. Today, when she drops a little plastic package of blueberries on the grocery store floor, exploding sweet (and bouncy!) antioxidants across the tile, I’m not surprised. I bend down, reach around my 4 month old daughter Lila (strapped to my chest via Baby Bjorn) and start scooping before Madeleine starts eating.

Here I am—stooping, scooping—when I hear a throaty chuckle over my shoulder. “Looks like Mom left the kids with Dad today!” says a thick-nosed man with crinkly eyes, to no one in particular, while squeezing a pair of Roma tomatoes.

Every time I leave the house with my girls, something similar happens. Perhaps we escape the market without destroying merchandise, but rarely do we escape without some form of commentary. These aren’t the usual questions about my daughter’s cochlear implant (“Can she hear us?” or “Is that a Bluetooth headset?”) or questions regarding her hearing, not even the typical involuntary blurts of “how cute!” Instead, the responses are directed at me: heads shake in pity for me, some nod in confused awe, others cast emasculating smirks. It seems fathers aren’t supposed to do what I’m doing and society really wants me to know.

Pop culture often constructs fathers as irresponsible, insensitive, bumbling or just plain mean. We all know the classic lineup of paternal figures: Archie Bunker, Al Bundy, Homer Simpson, Darth Vader. When we hear the African proverb “it takes a village to raise a child,” why do so many assume that dad is out of town, getting drunk or slaughtering innocent Ewoks?

Fortunately, in the Deaf/deaf community, the “village” adage is a lesson well learned. Fathers, mothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, therapists, teachers, and countless other professionals with confusing titles all must set aside their preconceived notions of society for the benefit of our children. The village that raises d/hh children sacrifices normal for successful, convenient for content. In the hustle to do what’s right for our kids, social roles start rolling around and box walls come down.

Involved fathers of d/hh children defy stereotypes. They pitch in, confront their emotions, take extended paternity leave, make weekly trips to speech therapy, give baths and read bedtime stories. And some even quit their jobs to care for their daughters—and cook and sew and sing along to “Signing Time” because Rachel Coleman’s voice is a wonderfully infectious disease.

Our children grow up in environments rich with diverse images of what fathers can and perhaps should be. Sons and daughters learn that sometimes boys do cry and men don’t necessarily have to be tough to be strong. Yes, sometimes I get angry, huffing and puffing like Darth Vader, but most days I’m like Darth Vader on vacation.

I can relax because I receive less pressure to “be a man” among folks who understand the challenges of raising a d/hh child. After a year of sign language classes, home visits, trips to the hospital before and after my daughter’s implant surgery, weekly visits to speech therapy, tune ups at the audiologist—not once has this community questioned me about my role as the primary caregiver to my daughter.

When I look into my daughter’s hazel eyes (filled with tears because I won’t let her buy aviator sunglasses) I realize just how soon she’ll wind up in the loony bin we call adolescence. But, when that time comes, and her love for shopping transforms into shopping for love, I am consoled to think she will already know that you don’t always have to buy what pop culture is selling. Unless, of course, you spill it on the floor.

]]> http://www.rondoylewrites.com/2009/03/10/darth-vader-takes-a-holiday/feed/ 7 http://www.rondoylewrites.com/2009/02/01/behind-the-mustache/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.rondoylewrites.com/2009/02/01/behind-the-mustache/#comments Mon, 02 Feb 2009 03:57:56 +0000 Ron S. Doyle http://write.rondoylewrites.com/?p=94 (from 5280 Magazine, February 2009, page 24)

Behind the Mustache

Why Colorado men hang up their razors come wintertime.

Like crops of winter wheat, shocks of male facial hair inevitably start sprouting along the Front Range when the snow starts to fall. Beards keep men warm during their adventures into winter’s drifts, but there’s more to male hirsute pursuits than just insulation—it’s a custom inspired by countless historical figures, famous and infamous, that let their jaw lines go bushy. Here, we examine some Colorado facial hair traditions. —Ron Doyle

FULL BEARD

Historical inspiration Denver Pyle (left), the Kit Carson County–born actor best known for his roles as Mad Jack in Grizzly Adams and Uncle Jesse in The Dukes of Hazzard. Often worn by Brewery employees; ski guides; lumberjacks Why men wear it Signifies maturity, virility, and readiness to take on the snowy backcountry Lately seen on Kory Lichtensteiger, Denver Broncos rookie center; Tom Hagerman, accordion player and violinist for gypsy rock group DeVotchKa.

MUSTACHE

Historical inspiration Rodolfo “Corky” Gonzales, civil rights activist born and buried in Denver, author of epic Chicano poem “Yo Soy Joaquín.” Often worn by Bold politicians; South Broadway hipsters Why men wear it Air of machismo Lately seen on Ron Zappolo, Fox31 news anchor (left); John Salazar, U.S. congressman; Carmelo Anthony, Denver Nuggets forward.

SIDEBURNS/CHOPS

Historical inspiration Horace Tabor (left), deceased U.S. senator and silver baron, buried in Jefferson county. Often worn by Bike messengers; Elvis impersonators Why men wear it Accentuates jaw lines; cushions against chinstrap chafe Lately seen on Jonathan Vaughters, Garmin-chipotle cycling team’s directeur sportif; Jon Stabile, Boulder Bikesmith owner.

GOATEE

Historical inspiration Alferd G. Packer, epileptic gold prospector and cannibal, buried in Littleton. Often worn by University of colorado freshmen; mad geniuses Why men wear it To avoid the itchiness and upkeep of a full beard Lately seen on Todd Helton, colorado Rockies first baseman (left).

VAN DYKE

Historical inspiration William “Buffalo Bill” cody (left), the cowboy, showman, and medal of Honor recipient, buried at Lookout mountain in Golden. Often worn by master artists and craftsmen; lovers of soup Why men wear it catches accidental dribbles; offers air of indifference Lately seen on Aaron Forman, sommelier/restaurateur, Table 6 (get the dish on Forman in this month’s Singles feature, page 50).